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Showing posts from April, 2012

#90

I don’t typically feel like sharing what I have journaled to my Mistress. And even now I hesitate to copy and paste. I get anxious about opening up too much (thank you trust issues) and exposing myself to hurt or harsh comments. But this is me raw, uncensored and just so tired:Mistress:
With the start of a new week, i'm trying not to think of all that is to come and that i must get done AND things i'd like to do:
work stuffmy mom's CT scan attending Mistress Melissa's pain management class follow up appointment with the oncologist getting ready for the weekend trip taking time to clean up (there is a clear path from my bed to the bathroom and stuff on the floor around that) doing laundry and getting rid of clothes i'm not wearing anymore. re-ordering some medicines for my mom getting her some personal items, shoes, sweater for her dress, do her nails, pack her things for the weekend coordinate with ****** on our itinerary for the weekend make sure i go to the gym and…

Jealous of a pussy…

Mistress sat calmly stroking it. The gleam in her eyes was indicative of being at ease. It purred and got comfortable in her loving arms. "It" was a pussy cat. Mistress looked down at him, he looked up at her. It was an exchange I was jealous of.

I'm jealous of a pussy cat.

I've made mention of wanting to explore animal play in the past and this urge hasn't faded. My wanting to explore this goes past anything I've ever experienced. As with most of my interests, there is a humiliation/degradation aspect to my hunger (but more on that later). The other side of that coin is wanting to feel owned fully and completely. There is a security that I crave in belonging to another. It is hard to accurately describe without making it sound like I want to be fully dependent on her. In our real lives, she and I face everyday issues in our personal lives independently of each other. Our relationship is getting stronger by the day though it is not without challenges. But that …