Jealous of a pussy…

Mistress sat calmly stroking it. The gleam in her eyes was indicative of being at ease. It purred and got comfortable in her loving arms. "It" was a pussy cat. Mistress looked down at him, he looked up at her. It was an exchange I was jealous of.

I'm jealous of a pussy cat.

I've made mention of wanting to explore animal play in the past and this urge hasn't faded. My wanting to explore this goes past anything I've ever experienced. As with most of my interests, there is a humiliation/degradation aspect to my hunger (but more on that later). The other side of that coin is wanting to feel owned fully and completely. There is a security that I crave in belonging to another. It is hard to accurately describe without making it sound like I want to be fully dependent on her. In our real lives, she and I face everyday issues in our personal lives independently of each other. Our relationship is getting stronger by the day though it is not without challenges. But that pussy cat, that goddamn bastard. He has that carefree feeling that I crave.

I used to fantasize about being broken down. Having dignity stripped from me piece by filthy piece. I never really thought about what it would result in. But then I realized that being dehumanized would leave me as a savage. Being "made" to feel less then human is something I have not experienced yet but I am so drawn to it. Why could this be? My desire to feel this way is only matched by my hope that it is even possible to do this while remaining emotionally safe.
On this night, when I experienced these pangs of jealousy, Mistress asked me to complete several domestic chores for her around the house. Once I was done, I was to join her for some one-on-one time. This is when the pussy cat made his delight known as she pet him. I was supremely grateful for my time with her. When all of her attention is on me, I feel like I can fly (*whispers: and sometimes I look for reasons to keep talking just so I can stay with her a little longer). She dismissed me for the evening and I left with a bounce in my step.
I think back to the times in which I have hinted at the extreme humiliation that I crave. And I realize that perhaps it is something I am not ready for. Mistress is my guiding light and if she thinks I need to wait, then that is exactly what I will do.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to keep giving that pussycat the stink eye.

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