I had no idea what she looked like and I was very intimidated by her. I had always been told that no one should ever touch this sacred place, not even me. Fearing that I would touch myself by accident, I took extra care when I showered or changed my panties. What was this mysterious place that could elicit such tingly sensations? It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I even took a peek. I laid back on my bed, with a mirror clasped tightly in my hand. I saw her in all her glory. She was just like I imagined. Neat and pretty. But I quickly put away the mirror. I felt shy looking at her. Like I was filthy for doing so. I touch her now (with permission from Mistress, of course). I began going commando so she could get fresh air. Lately, I’ve been letting her bush grow uncontrollably. I’m a huge fan of waxing. Shaving was never my favorite. I have never publicly admitted that it is presently a jungle down there. At first, I thought how very unladylike this was. But I’m actually very...
I remember the small cups that were on a tray. Each containing pills. Just like you've seen on One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest or Girl Interrupted. You wait for your name to be called. The cup with your meds and another small cup of water are handed to you. You have to open your mouth and lift your tongue to show you took them. I remember how excited I was months later when I felt the impact of a good cocktail. Finally a path to peace in my head. Pills aren't the only part of the solution, but they do make it easier to get to a stable place. Lately, I've been taking them later and later in the day. Sometimes I think about not taking them at all. And then yesterday, I didn't take them at all. This scared me quite a bit. I've seen that story play out. It is a shit show. I received caring reminders to take them today and I did. I've been obsessing over why I've been so ambivalent about meds. Much like everything else in my life, I have an itch...
I recently made some changes on my FL profile. If you've been listening to Intellectual Kink or listened to my previous post, you may be aware that I'm ready to delve into my interest in male dominants. The second step in this part of my life was to revise my profile. Aside from Twitter, it's really the only place where I maintain an online presence. It makes sense that I would advertise my desire for a Master. The messages I've received have not inspired much hope that I could someday find this unicorn-like Dom. "You can come over, clean my house, and then clean my cock with that dirty little mouth of yours." "How are you? I want to use you. Message me. I want you as my slave." Sigh. Dude, I'm still a human being. At least that second one asked how I was... Note that I won't be relying on FL messages for this endeavor. Can you at least take time to get to know me? Ugh. Delete. Yes, FL. Delete Forever.
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