Words and shit

D-type. My phone's keyboard learned this word (phrase?). It also learned D/s, Sir, Daddy, and at one point, Mistress. I taught it what was once taught to me.

I'm not sure these honorifics mean anything to me anymore, but I've also been away from all that for a bit. I remember the vocabulary part of my indoctrination how ever many million years ago. Learning to be respectful meant addressing people appropriately, how they wished to be addressed. I'm not sure there was ever a problem with that. Kind of like when Katherine prefers to be addressed as Kathy. Pretty harmless. But as it turns out, being respectful is simply making the choice to not be an asshole. My phone still knows D-type and s-type. They are catch-alls for what could be any role; I still place value in being respectful of relationship types. Most people I knew in the community are FB friends. Real names are known. Vanilla lives are known and sometimes we are a pretty intimate part of each other's lives.

There is one tiny part of these roles that can absolutely die in a dumpster fire. The ego. Because really, what does it actually mean to be alpha? That word makes my skin crawl. You don't need to be alpha to be a D-type. You need to be a decent fucking human being. I'll temper the disdain that I hope is dripping off of my words for a minute to suggest an alternate use of these words. What if the alpha in your life is the best alpha for you? Perhaps this could be reframed as the person who gives off an alpha vibe to you. The vibe that tells you this person is the one who is alpha to your beta? Sigh. Not all "alphas" in the traditional definition are worthy of another's submission. Listen, I don't know a whole lot about what it means to be a D-type. But I do know that the D shouldn't stand for douchebag.