My kink is holier than thou

As a side note, I’m writing this as I sit in my old bedroom with images of Catholic saints staring down at me. Hence the inspiration for this post. Our Lady of Perpetual Succour is right next to me… :-/

It has been said many times: for every kink out there, someone enjoys it. I think this phrase is used to express the sentiment that there are boundless ideas of fetishes. Recently CBS released a slideshow entitled “15 Strangest Sexual Fetishes” and as I saw it make the rounds on Twitter, I saw a few comment on how it certainly wasn’t as risqué as the title implies. Truthfully, I didn’t find them to be strange at all.

A while back, I expressed my interest in humiliation. Being the novice that I am, I wanted to tread lightly with just how I would go about describing this desire to someone. So I went in search of answers on the oh-so-many forums on FetLife (here is the thread in case you are interested). I got such varied responses and I decided that everyone was right in different ways. Since then, the difference of opinions I’ve seen as it relates to which kinks are “acceptable” is perplexing as a newcomer. The first person I met from the local community mentioned how ridiculous she thought it was that some guy wanted to be her footstool. She said she had to hold in laughter and didn’t get it. I thought, If this is a common representation of what it means to be a part of this community, that means it is never truly okay to be as open about what I’m in to. Lest of course, I want someone to mock me for not understanding/accepting that I am different from them. Basically, all the courage I had mustered to even meet someone to talk about such taboo (at the time) things had become null and void. **insert frustrated face here** 

Scat. Did I just make you shudder? Remember the sensationalized “Two Girls, One Cup”? Heh, I bet you shuddered now. That shit <pun intended> went viral quickly and the types of videos that outnumbered it where those of people reacting to watching it.  Reactions of absolute horror, wanting to forever scrub that image from their mind. I’ll admit that upon first glance, I was caught off guard. A lot of kinksters I’ve had the pleasure of talking to or meeting online place this kind of play at the top of their hard limits list. No way, no how, not fucking ever. Some people seem to like to go out of their way to let you know how much they are oppose to it. And that is perfectly fine. Hey, it’s not something I myself want to try. But at which point do we (the general we) stop and say to each his/her own?

Each and everyone has the innate right to decide what we are comfortable with and just how much we want to push that level of comfort. But does that necessary mean that because my kink is not your kink, I am open to your criticism and lack of acceptance? My humble opinion is that while we all have different kinks (or lack of, let’s not leave out the vanillas), we all really want the same things. Energy exchange, love, arousal, heightened self-awareness, excitement, etc. We just all have different ways of getting there. And no one way is right for everyone. <3

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 3, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    DAMNIT! I posted this big long comment, and then Google erased it or something.

    Anyway, the gist of it was that I think we should respect everyone's individual decisions to do what they want in the bedroom, so long as it doesn't infringe upon another individual's personal safety. However, I also think other people's feelings about that activity should be respected as well, though not their judgments. In my opinion, there is no room for judgment when it comes to sex.

    -Lex Morgan (Lezhavesex.com) (Don't have a clue as to why I come up as "unknown")

    ReplyDelete

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